Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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