no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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