I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
