No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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