I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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