I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
