just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
