Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
