What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
