I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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