I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
