covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
