Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Small penises have feelings too.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
