please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
