Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
