You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
