haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
too bad you live with your parents still
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
