I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
