I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
