I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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