That's when you crack a 10am beer
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
