You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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