You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
