Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
