we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
