That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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