they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
