I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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