You just made me feel so damn special
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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