erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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