at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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