You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
