i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
