Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
