im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
