So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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