It's Friday. Sex?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize