Where did you get a picture of my penis
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
