This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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