hell yes lets make some ravioli
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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