Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
