6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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