I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
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A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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