We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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