if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
