Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
