Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My vagina just recognized that song.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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