Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Randomize