How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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