I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
