Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
