In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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