dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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