Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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