I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize