Plan B is the new Plan A
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
