you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
