It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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