I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
