i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
