I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
