Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
