Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
