just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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