He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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