I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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