the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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