I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
